You too can rise from the ashes of narcissistic violence

Hello, dear readers!

My name is Debby, an educated writer and editor with roots in the US and currently calling Sweden home. As I sit here writing this first blog post and starting my blog after a lot of self-doubt and research, I can at last say, that this is not just a narrative—it's an invitation for you to join me on a journey through the complexities of narcissistic violence, abuse, survivorship, thriving and navigating parenthood where parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is part of the mix. I want to help others learn to recognize the patterns far sooner than I did.

For starters, I am now 50, and for more than 27 years, I've lived a life of abuse in a relationship with a man who according to my therapist is truly a sick man. The stories will unfold here in due time. Stay with me, my journey isn't just about survival but about shedding light on the often-hidden struggles that come with emotional turmoil. And I will share that through examples.

By day, I don the hat of an editor, confident in my ability to wield words to inspire and inform. Yet, in my personal life, my words have failed me as I've faced a silent struggle against narcissistic violence and abuse—a battle I am now ready to share openly.

Life brought me here from the country woods of Michigan to the pastoral landscapes of Sweden. Going from light to dark my world grew darker and darker over the years both literally and figuratively. Abuse knows no borders transcending cultures, continents, and homes alike.

My survival story as with anyone else’s, a testament to raw resilience. I lived 27-plus years of a partnership marked by dominance and emotional manipulation. When I was discarded, it was the last of the flames of abuse that have allowed me to emerge and rise from the flames reborn as a voice determined to break the silence surrounding narcissistic violence.

Sadly, as a mother of three, my heart aches for my children, like so many others, caught in the crossfire. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is very real even though the powers that be in Sweden deny its existence. It is a brutal abuse that is two-fold and casts a shadow over their innocent lives, a phenomenon I've witnessed firsthand. The intricate dance of alienation, manipulation, lies and the erosion of family bonds is a painful narrative that needs more attention and understanding.

Through my journey so far, I've discovered the power of words not just in my professional life but as a means to heal and empower. This blog is more than a chronicle of my experiences—it's a platform to raise awareness, foster understanding, and provide a supportive community for those facing similar battles.

So, dear reader, join me in this exploration of resilience, redemption, and the unyielding spirit that propels us forward. Welcome to a space where stories find solace, and survivors find strength in learning more about the nuances of violence and how to triumph over adversity, and pave the way for a future where no one feels silenced and finally find the words to describe their struggle.

In addition I have curated a number of helpful resources that can get you started on your own path toward, healing throughout my blog:*

1. Books on Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

• "It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People Hardcover" by Ramani Durvasula PhD a clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships and provides a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism

• "Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse" by Shannon Thomas. This book offers insights into the phases of narcissistic abuse and practical advice for recovery.

• "Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People" by Jackson MacKenzie. It provides a comprehensive look at the patterns of narcissistic abuse and guidance on healing.

2. Guides to Mental Health Recovery

• "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk. This book explores the impact of trauma on the body and mind, offering groundbreaking insights into recovery paths.

• "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker. A guide for those dealing with the aftermath of enduring long-term, complex trauma, such as that from narcissistic abuse.

3. Resources on Setting Boundaries

• "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. This book is a classic resource on understanding and implementing healthy boundaries in various aspects of life.

• "Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself" by Nedra Glover Tawwab. A modern take on setting and enforcing boundaries, with practical advice for maintaining mental health and well-being.

4. Self-Compassion and Self-Care

• "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" by Kristin Neff. This book delves into the importance of self-compassion as a crucial aspect of healing from emotional abuse and trauma.

• "The Self-Care Prescription: Powerful Solutions to Manage Stress, Reduce Anxiety & Increase Wellbeing" by Robyn L. Gobin. It offers actionable advice on integrating self-care practices into daily life to improve emotional and physical health.

5. Journals for Healing

• "Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration" by Meera Lee Patel. This interactive journal encourages self-reflection and personal growth, supporting individuals in their journey towards healing and self-discovery.

*Please note that this post contains affiliate links, which means I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through them. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.