On Being Security Smart

A while back I experienced a series of unsettling occurrences at my home that motivated me to take a decisive step towards bolstering my personal security. To be fair, this started out as my now-husband’s suggestion that it was a necessary step to address my fear and setting boundaries with my ex. But this was a hard decision because I was still in denial that my ex would go to any lengths to harm me or do something that would make me more fearful. I was wrong.

The decision to change the locks and install three more cordless, app-controlled Wi-Fi cameras (totaling six now similar to this one from Arlo* and this one from TP-Link*) came after some incidents that once again left me questioning my sanity. These high-tech cameras are now strategically placed around my property, and offer me comprehensive surveillance with the convenience of remote access and control. This upgrade in security was crucial, particularly after a bizarre episode where a set of keys for our camper vanished and then reappeared in an unmonitored area of the backyard, on top of the awning housing on our deck. 

Adding to the sense of intrusion was the disturbing discovery of what appeared to be human defecation in a secluded part of my backyard, another area not yet under surveillance. This gave me all the reason I needed to enhance visibility and security during the night by installing two high-powered floodlights. These lights not only illuminate dark corners of the yard but also act as a deterrent to any unwelcome visitors.

This combination of changing locks, advanced surveillance cameras, and floodlights has indeed significantly improved the security of my home. It provides not just a physical safety net but also a psychological one, allowing me to regain a sense of control and peace in my own space. The ability to monitor my property remotely through an app has been particularly empowering, giving me real-time insights and the power to respond swiftly to any suspicious activity. Now all of this being said, my ex is an internet security consultant and we have had two incidents while we were traveling that the cameras went offline. We can’t prove anything, but have our suspicions that he has hacked them somehow.

Anyway, the importance of feeling secure in one's own home cannot be overstated, especially after experiencing events that challenge one’s sense of safety. By choosing to take these proactive steps, I have not only enhanced my home security but also reclaimed my peace of mind, knowing that I have taken tangible measures to protect my sanctuary. I also now carry a form of legal pepper spray* at my husband’s insistence.

While you may choose other alternatives and there are many from DIY on a budget to hiring a security firm, the message I have for you is make sure to get yourself something. Never doubt what your abuser might be capable of. There is no such thing as a “nice abuser” or "abuser lite". They are always capable of escalating their behaviors.

*Please note that this post contains affiliate links, which means I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through them.